Four weeks of food therapy

The last time I weighed myself I had lost 10 pounds. That's a lot, though that top weight was hopefully just a one day blip. In any case, I have been feeling successful, which of course leads to slacking off considerable. I can feel it in my body and my attitude. 10 pounds is enough weight to make a difference, but that still leaves me 20 pounds above so-called normal weight. So I am now vowing again to be more serious, though I am leaving to go home for several days, and any kind of departure from normal makes things very difficult. But not impossible... this I must remember.

Burdie gave me the following suggestions for mantras:                     I deserve to feel comfortable in my body                     I am able to hike any trail I chose                    My body is strong and I move with ease I will think about those or some version of them...                   

I managed to make it through the day without snacks. At the end of the session I did take a bar home with me, but it was 5pm and I was genuinely hungry and it still left me eating properly for the day. It may seem like a partial victory, but I consider it a good one. The next step would be to do that without having to think about it constantly during the conference. Still such a long way to go.

This is really when I have to work hard to keep going because I will have a few things throwing me off. I am going to a conference where there will be free food, and we are going camping where any time we are on vacation food and drink go hand in hand. Let's just start with today. Today I will not eat food from the conference. If I succeed in that, then I can eat one thing tomorrow. If I succeed this will be a first and I will be amazed, so let's see if I can do it. Someone hold me back! No, that's me that has to do that...

I got frustrated today (for no good reason) and as I was grocery store I started thinking of ways to reward myself with food. It could be just a bag of chips I thought, or just a little ice cream. I tried talking myself down, but I could not think of anything that would satisfy me. So I bought a really good ice cream. As I was driving home I started to think about how I would feel after, and thought that maybe just popcorn instead would be good. So I got home and put the icecream in the fridge and was going to make popcorn until I saw how many blueberries we had and started eating those. Then I boiled a couple of ears of corn and that was good too. Ok, I did have one oatmeal cookie too, but all in all that was not bad, right? Well actually it was. That was a whole meal's worth of calories. Bummer.

     Here is the typical pattern: great motivation for the first few days, then discouragement, then the results from the good days start to show up and I'm filled with optimism. However, here is where it goes wrong.... I get comfortable and have a piece of chocolate here, and some other snack there, and start the steady slope down to giving up.      So now is when I have to stop it. I wear uncomfortable clothes as a constant reminder, but I'm focusing on food. The less I do, the more I think about food, and yet I don't really want to do anything. I will continue to track and continue to move.     A quote I really like is "If you don't stop thinking about it, don't stop working towards it."